i hope and pray that wanwen and i are both eligible for the surgery. then its bye bye to glasses and contact lenses. HA.

enjoying myself too much that i started thinking about having to go back there again. you know what. i desperately dont want to.

my days have been packed packed packed. packed packed packed packed. need to dedicate a day to staying at home and nua-ing.

i dont have enough money.

i want an O2 i want an O2 i want an O2. get me one, sugar daddy. :)

was nice meeting up with girlfrens and talking about everything we can think of. ogling at gorgeous but extremely unaffordable clothes, bags, shoes. sharing and trading little secrets, worries and thoughts. it feels so different when you are back there and getting cut off from this world i have been in almost all my life. now i know what i am missing out on. its the great company and the fun i get out of all these nitty gritty things. whos going to go shopping with me and ogle at things like we do back here, whos going to walk around aimlessly with me when i am bored, whos going to go watch a movie with me or just hangout at cafes. i am already dreading what i would miss when i go back, even if i am having fun right now.

fuck. i really dont want to go back. help.

oh ya. btw, i want national day tickets. anybody doesnt want to go?

and there was a fantastic flea market downstairs today. like wow. kembangan is finally so happening and fun! i bought beaded necklaces at 1 buck. 1 freaking buck. haha beat that. and brand new shoes at 5 bucks.

and even though i spent less than 10 bucks, i am really really broke. i need money. or else i cant party and i cant go out without feeling normal.

it has been a very very very busy month since i came back. now i can safely say i know why i want to come back. dont get me wrong. who doesnt want to be back. but i was stumped when jamin asked us what exactly was pulling us back. all that i could say repeatedly was the food, the people, the environment.... they are all very minor, whiny, taitai reasons. nothing substantial to back my constant need to be back when i was in london.

i realised. its not the hokkien mee or the char kuay teow, or the chilli crabs or the bbq stingray. its the ability to have a hot bowl of mee for breakfast, lunch or dinner. it doesnt have to be bak chor mee from blk 85 or the wanton mee from joo chiat. it can simply be any mee from any random coffeeshop. but the idea of it all, the taste, the convenience. they all play a part. it can be just a bowl of fish porridge or a sliced fish soup. its not something i can whip up in london and say i am satisfied with. even macdonald's in sg tastes different.

food aside, the company makes a difference. it feels so good to be like 9 months ago when i get text messages asking me out. i havent texted as much as i did this month in all the 9 months combined together. and despite my mum's constant naggings and the fact that i am doing alot of housework for her, nothing beats being at home. haha and i am addicted to the 7 to 12am shows on channel 55 and channel 8. such a typical singaporean at heart eh.

so i havent spent any day at home doing nothing. somehow something always crops up. but this also means my money reserves are draining dry. i dont think i have enough to last me the rest of the holidays. yet i dont want to work. hahaha. i'll have to think of a way.

i should make full use of the opportunity given to me. i need to learn to step out of my comfort zone because things arent just as bad as i think they are. and the end result will defnitely be sweeter than what i think.

sometimes i wonder how come i can become so bored or zone out so easily when its something i look forward to so much during the week. i guess i still havent learnt how to handle human relationships as well as i thought i could.

and sometimes i wonder how come some people can be so spontaneous and so natural while i cant be myself and disregard how others would view me. i wonder how come my self esteem can never be pulled up from its rock bottom state.

lesson learnt today. compliments cost nothing, but they bring you a long way. how very true.

i am so tired. i think its because i am getting old. just having 2 or 3 late nights out is totally wearing me out. i am such a loser. haha.

the germany portugal match was goood. the 3 goals were fantastic.

and lastly, i believe i can.

and i love my friends.

je deteste france.

my 2 favourite teams got busted by france. i bet it was all pre planned to have an all european semi final. grrr. i only have hopes on germany now.

anyways. i realised that singapore did change from the last time i have been here. i only noticed lik 2 days ago that eunos has this new group of hdb flats right in front of the mrt. as well as the new shops located at along the walkway towards eunos. i finally had a taste of bubble tea after so long. honey pearl milk tea!! and the tea shake hut place in bugis has shifted.

sorry. no time to think of what to blog about and stuff. let me go watch tv now. haha

i am torn between both. howhowhow?

but i secretly think germany would win...

SPAIN LOST. HOW CAN SPAIN LOSE?? its not fair. france was never performing well. i shall root for argentina then.

argh. and i became black again. shucks. so much for waiting 6 mnths to fade that lil bit.

i havent had enough retail therapy yet.

clubbing sucks all your money away before you know it.

i want to go kayaking. any takers?

go spain go spain gogogo.

i like packed days.

i like orchard road on school days.

i havent been to bugis, TM and far east.

i am going to my fav neighbourhood shopping centre tmr!!

ohhh. and i love the weather. i know you want to smack me now. haha.